Just Exploring

Little by little we make small things big. Step by step we move forward. Following the right path, the Eightfold path, makes me calm, steady and happy. Did you find yours? Everybody has one, just some must look deeper or look for it longer. Just explore and it will unfold naturally.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Math lesson

Challenge is big, but that's what makes the life unique experience. Choosing the easiest options isn't the right way. (Yes I know I just confessed that I started to look for the job in Slovakia because it was the easiest option, yes, yes I'm not a superman... ) Going beyond your capacities isn't good either. The best is to stand on the ground but trying to reach as far as possible... That's what I'm doing now. Fortunately I'm standing on the stable platform, but to satisfy the expectation as mine so mine employers and also mine students I have to stand on tiptoes and stretch my hand above my head... Teaching is taking all of my energy and power. I need to use all of my knowledge and skills, and still I'm not doing the best job I think I could. It gives me the highest satisfaction I ever experienced. Non of the previous job was even close, neither none of the other activities, except traveling... I discovered that to be a teacher is my life profession. There is no necessity to say any strong words. One month is definitely not enough to say anything like "I will be a teacher till end of my life", and if the circumstances doesn't change I will probably be forced to do something else, or somewhere else. But what I know now is that I'm happy... Even I'm tired, and frustrated little bit because it isn't that easy. I didn't had any big expectation, and I was almost positive that it will be hard -why should I have it easy, when I wasn't really nice to my teachers... It isn't a problem it is only that I have to get used to. There will always be nice students who do everything somebody tells them, and there will always be also the opposite ones, and it is good that it is like that because balance is important. So I'm thankful to all of them, I'm thankful for their patients with me. I'm really trying to do my best. School is my life now. I don't do any thing else. I let go my PhD studies, and all other side project. Some of them I would like to get back... Now I'm just waiting when will my hectic life style calm down little bit so I can do sport again, that I could draw again, and of course travel again. Everything needs time. Now I have to focus to the topic. And my topic is called MATH. So all my daily activities turns around this subject. If I'm not dealing with actual mathematic problems, than I'm dealing with other school thinks... And there are always thousand of them, like tons of questions from the students, or doing the paper work, or attend the staff meetings, or just taking the necessary brake from neverending talking... The weekdays runs in speed of light and the weekends gives me just enough time the do minimum of necessary relaxation one need to survive. OK, OK now I exaggerated a little, but this is how I see it now. I'm sure that it will calm down latter. And that it will be only better. Even now I'm doing really good. The feedback energy is so big that it makes everything running alright. YEAH EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT... EVEN MORE ALRIGHT THAT IT IS NOW. VOW

1 comment:

Slavka Vanova a Misko Stanak said...

Hey Janci,
I can imagine that it is hard to adopt to a new environment when people expect you to do more than your best, but at the same time I can tell that I experienced something similar. If you were a little bit depressed from our math lessons at C.S.Lewis, now I can tell ,in comparison to others, that you did a good job.