Just Exploring

Little by little we make small things big. Step by step we move forward. Following the right path, the Eightfold path, makes me calm, steady and happy. Did you find yours? Everybody has one, just some must look deeper or look for it longer. Just explore and it will unfold naturally.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

1.B during brake

The school year started and so together with this fact my life style changed. It is already an year plus tree weeks since I came back to Europe. The people which I called buddy's before I came back would hardly recognize me. Even I'm (nicely) surprised of the big change that happened. I came from the jungle with big dreams about far-away journeys and exotic lifestyles. I wanted to finish university but there wasn't even a slightest thought in my mind to actually go and teach in Slovakia. I knew that I want to teach but I wanted to go out and more less continue in exploring other countries. Well, but during the winter in dormitory I calmed down, and realized that, the life style I lived in USA wasn't the best for me. Sure, I knew it for a while but only now I was able to see it clearly. Some of you (like Monica from Chicago) couldn't imagine me in front of a class teaching math... Well with the visage I had in state one would need a lot of imagination . As I sad, lot of changes happened a in my life. Not only that my outward form is completely different, but also my inside belief is a little more realistic and calm. So it happened that my opinion on being a teacher in Slovakia changed too. I'll be honest, the main reason why I started to look for the job here, was because it was the easiest option, and also because I knew that work experience in this branch is necessary. And where should I get it? Wouldn't it be waste of energy to go aboard again, and start from zero, when I can start here and get a support from my parents and friends. Plus the knowledge of the system in your own country is important. Isn't it ? Such and much more, but similar train of thoughts was running in my head during the last year. So I decided to be a teacher in my native country. The rest was easy -well at least it looks like, because I was hired at the first school I was interested in. And it is also the best school I could get. I'm sure it wasn't that easy... I have to thank to God of Luck for his blessing... my qualities was recognized. Now I only heaved to fulfill them. The challenge is big. My employers are very bright persons, and my pupils are sharp as well.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Math lesson

Challenge is big, but that's what makes the life unique experience. Choosing the easiest options isn't the right way. (Yes I know I just confessed that I started to look for the job in Slovakia because it was the easiest option, yes, yes I'm not a superman... ) Going beyond your capacities isn't good either. The best is to stand on the ground but trying to reach as far as possible... That's what I'm doing now. Fortunately I'm standing on the stable platform, but to satisfy the expectation as mine so mine employers and also mine students I have to stand on tiptoes and stretch my hand above my head... Teaching is taking all of my energy and power. I need to use all of my knowledge and skills, and still I'm not doing the best job I think I could. It gives me the highest satisfaction I ever experienced. Non of the previous job was even close, neither none of the other activities, except traveling... I discovered that to be a teacher is my life profession. There is no necessity to say any strong words. One month is definitely not enough to say anything like "I will be a teacher till end of my life", and if the circumstances doesn't change I will probably be forced to do something else, or somewhere else. But what I know now is that I'm happy... Even I'm tired, and frustrated little bit because it isn't that easy. I didn't had any big expectation, and I was almost positive that it will be hard -why should I have it easy, when I wasn't really nice to my teachers... It isn't a problem it is only that I have to get used to. There will always be nice students who do everything somebody tells them, and there will always be also the opposite ones, and it is good that it is like that because balance is important. So I'm thankful to all of them, I'm thankful for their patients with me. I'm really trying to do my best. School is my life now. I don't do any thing else. I let go my PhD studies, and all other side project. Some of them I would like to get back... Now I'm just waiting when will my hectic life style calm down little bit so I can do sport again, that I could draw again, and of course travel again. Everything needs time. Now I have to focus to the topic. And my topic is called MATH. So all my daily activities turns around this subject. If I'm not dealing with actual mathematic problems, than I'm dealing with other school thinks... And there are always thousand of them, like tons of questions from the students, or doing the paper work, or attend the staff meetings, or just taking the necessary brake from neverending talking... The weekdays runs in speed of light and the weekends gives me just enough time the do minimum of necessary relaxation one need to survive. OK, OK now I exaggerated a little, but this is how I see it now. I'm sure that it will calm down latter. And that it will be only better. Even now I'm doing really good. The feedback energy is so big that it makes everything running alright. YEAH EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT... EVEN MORE ALRIGHT THAT IT IS NOW. VOW